My experience as a mom without a mom.
When my son was born I was surprised by how much I longed for the support and guidance of a mother. I felt so alone and isolated, and if truth be told, I also felt a lot of shame too. I was not experiencing the joys of being a mom the way I thought I would.
I didn’t understand why despite all of the knowledge and experience I had (as a psychologist and confident professional woman) I could not seem to handle being a mom.
- I was constantly overwhelmed.
- I felt insecure about everything I did.
- Before he was born I thought I knew who I would be as a mom, but once he was born I had no clue.
- I longed for a mother I no longer had.
- I felt sad that my son didn’t have a maternal grandmother in his life.
- I worried I wouldn’t be a good enough mother.
I didn’t realize that these thoughts and feelings are a common part of being a mom without a mom.
- When I didn’t know how to do something, I didn’t have a mom to show me.
- There wasn’t anyone to lighten the burden when I was overwhelmed.
- I couldn’t ask her what things where like for her when I was a baby.
- She wasn’t around to calm my fears or to be a shoulder for me to cry on.
- Each time I got excited about something he did, I wished I had a mom who would be just as excited as I was.
It took many years for me to realize that these experiences were a normal part of being a mom without a mom. I was not alone in this experience. Virtually all moms who are separated from their own mother by death, emotional estrangement or physical distance experience these things.